Doubt, God & Obstacles

11/13: Sharon on Doubt


First stage of faith: Bright faith. Door swings open. The feeling that things can be different
Danger: Feeling is so extraordinary that we may not want to rock the boat. Thus bright faith degenerates into blind faith.

Second stage of faith: Verified faith. That power and sense is based on our own clear seeing and knowing.

The path from 1 to 2 is doubt! Buddha said: do not believe anything: try it for yourself. That is the only way.

Skeptical doubt: Instead of putting something into practice, we stand back and judge. Then we are stuck. This can manifest as great indecision: running back and forth, but not letting us really live. Crossroads.

Thinking about practice is not the same as practice.

Bringing it to life is the whole point. And, evaluating and checking -- danger of having an ideal.

Inquire: Why not aspire to be a fully liberated being?

Limitations are constraints created out of conditions (cultural, personal, familial). Anything born out of conditions is not permanent.

"How much we can be there really is the point."

Be a beginner. Discover. Progress is like hitting wood with an axe - the 100th time isn't different; the previous 99 weakened the wood even though it looked like nothing was happening. And, honor the fact that we show up.

The doubter is also the answer.

Inquire about doubt: what is its nature? What is its flavor/energy? Let doubt teach you the truth of impermanence. Doubt is conditioned and impersonal. And, it will always come back. And doubt is unsatisfactory. Comes and goes despite our wishes.

We can hold all of it - dread, anxiety, doubt - with a tenderness and compassion.

--

That talk was so enlightening, I am on the verge of tears.

And not just for me - energy is in the room in the silence when she was done. She does actually look like the Buddha, too.

Every obstacle can be a teacher because every new energy it brings up is something to be with and recognize, and witness. But it is hard....

The God piece almost seems extra, but it's just a way of conceptualizing the unified nature of these dependent & empty things & expressing our love & devotion that comes from seeing clearly.

Maybe the sense of the sacred isn't bliss, but a natural response to seeing clearly -- the love that springs from God's self-reflection.

"Bliss floods the body" as the Buddha smiles a little -- a knowing smile. Suffering is out there, but a smile nevertheless.

Turning up the volume may lead to some states, but it will never lead to liberation because it will not attune the mind to "negative" energies. Thus, after the trip comes down, you're back dealing with crap. If you can get to like the crap more, you can be in better shape.

Remember -- this light too shall pass, and I am still very new at actually practicing with negativity. Have done it like twice ever. And was definitely thrown off by it only 3 hours ago.

Very sweet: That when I catch myself thinking or drifting, now there isn't a harsh bit but just a slow fade and an inquiry "ok, what does this feel like." It's all fodder for the Witness.

"It is what it is" = I am that I Am. Ehyeh asher ehyeh.