Why focus on mind?

Wednesday, 11/10
(from notebook)

“Contentment may or may not be exactly the right word. It is nonattachment. But a bit sweeter than that. From “Oy” to “Nu?”

The joy in the practice does not come from anything especially joyful or spiritual. Comes just in the joy of looking at paint, or feeling the nose watching the elevator lights.

No matter how much you turn up the amplitude or modulate the frequency, there will always be not enough. The only way to fully live life is to pay more and more attention. And you cultivate that by paying really minute attention. That requires the practice, and the practice requires retreat and quiet. Moreover, it is beneficial, to be with the mind, because unlike elevator buttons (or orgasms, or holy places):
1 – Mind is always there (even in “no-mind”)
2 – Mind really colors how we experience
3 – Mind can block out, shape, enhance experience
4- Mind can help us be more compassionate, open, attentive.

One disturbing insight yesterday is how I still tell so many negative stories about/to myself. I am so down on me! No wonder he gets a little needy.

Causes and conditions = Empty Boat

Guy: Resistance to a hindrance makes it stronger. Surrender.

Question for interview: I note some exasperation when I catch myself drifting: exasperation at myself for drifting, and exasperation at having to discipline myself. I hate discipline. Should I just note it, or try to add in some compassion?