Concentration, Awareness, Nonduality, Compassion

Here’s a piece on awareness versus concentration practice –

With concentration, when lots of restlessness, I get really pissed at myself or sad that I’m not all quiet and with God, and yet I also hate the discipline of coming back to the &*! breath all the time. Lots of aversion, in other words, and despite trying to have that catch moment be one of compassion, actually it isn’t, and so I get an extra negative piece on not being.

With awareness, ok, so big deal, lots of ideas. Later, I’ll be quieter. In the meantime, can just watch that stuff and try not to really fall into it – except when I do. Note here much less negative reinforcement and discipline.

Insight I had at some point: I’m constantly kicking my own ass. That is not the way to liberation.

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What is the relation between compassion and discipline?

[Note: That became absolutely crucial later on. Stay tuned.]

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Evening spent in a very light mindstate. Not necessarily enlightened, but at least light.

Oddly, I feel like I had more nondual drop-in ability at home than here. I need to ask Guy the relationship between vipassana liberation and nondual enlightenment. And compassion.

[Guy’s answers: Can you trust the experience? Is it real when you’re in it? And, does it lead to more skillful behavior? If it feels real, then judge by the consequences.]

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Right now, in Presence.. nonduality is not central to this moment. But as it stands to reason (causes and conditions for everything – dependent arising) it fits easily in. That the Jews are the chosen people does not – I get nervous about it, that’s the sense.

Let’s check some statements.

That corned beef tastes good – ahh.

That the Rapture is about to happen – anxiety

Note for some, the anxiety is a sign that it’s true. But actually, I think it’s the indication of falsity.

Well, the lie-meter doesn’t go off when nonduality is explored.

Strangely, it just doesn’t seem that important.

This is going on and I’m with it.

Abiding peace at that… don’t know how key nondual really is.

Is this “stupid meditation”?


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I would like my practice to enable me to be more in the present and more compassionate. If I could see anger arising before it really gets going, could I undermine (not repress) it, and act more like a Buddha? I know it is there underneath.

Why not be a jerk? Because I am not deeply satisfied as a jerk. Maybe others are. C’est la vie.

However, I am in deep doubt that compassion will win the day, on the macro scale. I hope it will on my micro level.

Can I have compassion for myself?

Kamala says: Try never to say “my practice wasn’t good enough.”