A BuJu Chanukah

A BuJu Chanukah

Nun = Emptiness (nothing taken or given)
Gimel = Metta (hesed for you!)
Heh = Equanimity (half and half)
Shin/Peh = There, here, be in the now!


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God, how could I ever have doubted you?

I know I will again, but this radiant joy (in music) so intense so beautiful so holy

LOVE,


Moshe Yaakov



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for me, i think the beauty experience with the music today carried over into the last hour or so, which has been very sweet. sure, there are desires to listen to more music, and some sadness that this moment isn’t as orgasmic as that. but those can be seen and laid down. more significant is the resonance of that moment. I’m still so high on it, basically, that it was really easy to see the walking room as god. and to see negative stuff come up, and let it come up - that was enabled by the resonating from the music practice.

once again, the place of devotion, of beauty. it’s tricky. on the earlier retreats, there was so much of that that it was easy to see the shadow stuff as just a downer, rather than as an integral part of practice. yet “the gate of sadness” which basically applies to almost all negative states - that is one of the most important bits. so, somewhere in here is the balance between just lots of goodies, and so much austerity that the joys are infrequent and suspect.

I’m very glad i did the last two weeks in an austere way. i learned a lot, it was valuable, and i feel good to have done it. now i am glad to be turning to a more grateful, celebratory mode - ‘indulgent’ would be steve’s word.

time to go to bed. perchance to dream.